Dragon 🐉 Letter #78: Reflections on my spiritual emergence crisis as I confront performative spirituality, cultural appropriation, and the path to reclaiming authentic reverence and creativity.
Spiritual Emergence is a term used to describe a natural process of personal transformation and growth, where an individual experiences a heightened or accelerated spiritual awakening. Popularized by Dr. Stanislav Grof and Christina Grof, who are well-known for their work in transpersonal psychology. They coined the term in the 1980s to describe a natural and potentially transformative process of spiritual awakening or personal growth that can involve significant changes in consciousness, identity, and perception of reality. The process of spiritual emergence often includes experiences that transcend ordinary consciousness, such as heightened intuition, expanded awareness, a deep sense of connection with the universe, or an awakening to one’s life purpose.
While spiritual emergence can be a positive and transformative experience, it can also be challenging, as it may bring up intense emotions, unresolved trauma, or existential questions. When the process becomes overwhelming or difficult to integrate into daily life, it may lead to what is known as a “Spiritual Emergency.” In this state, the individual may experience psychological distress, confusion, or crisis, as the rapid changes can be destabilizing.
Spiritual Emergence is generally seen as a sign of personal and spiritual growth, but it requires careful navigation and sometimes support from others who understand the process to ensure it leads to positive outcomes. If you are in a spiritual emergence crisis, please seek supportive guidance.
Several weeks ago, an influencer war erupted over cacao and Mayan spiritual teachings, throwing my spiritual world into turmoil. Being part of a small community of cacao resellers, I was well-acquainted with both sides of the conflict. Unfortunately, my spiritual teacher, a Mayan ajq’ij (counter of Time), was caught in the crossfire because his wife’s family belongs to a cacao collective that allegedly tried to sell cacao with excess lead.
Their distributor tried to keep the tainted cacao off the market and rectify the situation. However, another distributor may have planned to sell the compromised product (unknowingly), escalating the dispute to platform spiritual teachers voicing grievances about unfair compensation from the organization where they had been teaching.
Due to the ongoing conflict, I can no longer recommend Mayan Wisdom Project classes or Soul Lift Cacao.
This conflict was deeply distressing for me, reopening old family wounds and manifesting physically—I developed gastritis and could barely eat. As weeks passed, my spiritual teacher withdrew from the program we had paid for, and all his teachings were removed. I was heartbroken. The very people who had taught me about the importance of cacao in conflict resolution were now embroiled in a dispute that seemed destined for the courts rather than resolution through the medicine they preached.
The distress led to significant dysregulation within me. I spent many days sitting with the discomfort in my stomach, the painful acid, and the burning sensations. I had entered a freeze state. To find my grounding, I stepped back from everything and checked in with my body, allowing myself to feel and process these sensations as a form of spiritual grounding. This somatic work was crucial in helping me reconnect with my authentic self rather than getting lost in the turmoil around me.
During this time, I also sought solace in my community, speaking with fellow members who shared my frustration with the fallout from the conflict. These conversations helped me process the emotions and brought clarity to what was truly important—staying connected to my body, my values, and my community, even when everything else felt chaotic.
It’s not that spiritual practices are failing us. It’s that performative spirituality and cultural appropriation are distorting our connection to authentic reverence.
When spiritual leaders are entangled in conflicts and legal battles instead of using their teachings to mediate and heal, it’s easy to think that spiritual teachers or practices are flawed. But the real issue isn’t the spiritual tools themselves; it’s the way performative spirituality, especially when intertwined with cultural appropriation, corrupts our relationship with them.
This distortion is particularly troubling in the case of cacao. Cacao, a sacred medicine in Mayan tradition, is increasingly being appropriated for ceremonies by those in various [often white woo] spiritual communities who may not fully understand its significance. These ceremonies often prioritize the feel-good aspects of cacao and bypass the real work of sitting with guilt, pain, white body supremacy, and uncomfortable feelings or sensations.
(To learn more about how to work with cacao respectfully, you can purchase my guidebook.)
This lack of genuine connection and application of cacao in real-world situations raises the question: are these “ceremonies” and trainings helping or hurting the medicine? When influencers and distributors of cacao fail to apply its principles to resolving conflicts, it undermines the very essence of this sacred practice.
During my journey, I came across a GenZ Indigenous creator on TikTok · Eagle Blackbird, who brilliantly portrayed the commodification of spirituality. In his skit, he was asked to say a blessing in a “more native” way for money.
This struck a chord with me. I’ve seen spiritual trends, new age whitewashing, and Indigenous people performing spirituality for profit. This is a fine line I’ve walked in my own work, often holding back my spirituality to avoid falling into this trap.
I’ve taken courses from Indigenous teachers, some of whom seem to succeed by being overly “spiritual native.” I’ve always wondered if they speak that way with their families or if it’s just for social media and courses.
There’s a difference between those who fawn to make money and those who teach with authentic reverence and appreciation for the world. And it’s not to say these aren’t beautiful, caring people. It’s that they either aren’t aware of their fawning or they are teaching from a very extractive place, which continues the cycles of bypassing uncomfortable feelings and sensations.
Doing spirituality as performance is not the answer. In fact, it’s the reason we’re losing touch with authentic reverence instead of deepening our spiritual connections and confronting the white body supremacy that has done such harm to Indigenous traditions.
This is the work I do. I’ve dedicated my life to guiding revolutionary leaders to reclaim their authentic creativity by creating conditions for Flow to emerge. My clients experience profound transformations: effortlessly entering flow states—again and again—exponentially boosting impact, gaining crystal-clear clarity, and reconnecting deeply with their creative roots.
There is no faking in Flow. It’s an authentic, embodied, and, dare I say, spiritual experience of the Cosmos.
Get initiated into the Wild Presence process and discover the specific structures and systems to cultivate creativity tailored to your unique cultural and personal landscape. This approach will help you bring your work into the world with greater ease and alignment.
Reply for details on how you can start your journey to a more authentic and regenerative creative life.
I work with my clients to ensure their spiritual practices are rooted in authenticity, not performance. Together, we cultivate genuine reverence so that your work isn’t just impactful — it’s deeply aligned with your true self and the communities you serve.
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Stay wild, love fiercely. Your presence is golden.
With wild and rebellious love,
xo Ixchel
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I was raised and bore children on the traditional, unceded, and stolen lands of the Coast and Central Valley Miwok (colonized as Petaluma, CA) and Nisenan (colonized as Sacramento and Fair Oaks, CA), past, present, and future. I also write, work, and live in the highland forest of the traditional, unceded and stolen lands of the Totonac, Nahua, and Mexicah, past, present, and future, in what is known as Coatepec, Veracruz, Mexico.
P.P.S. I do not live or consent to the colonial impositions regarding the construct of Time. I also practice honoring rhythms of work, play, and rest so that I can serve you with embodied presence and with loving care. This means I may take several days to respond to your requests and questions. (h/t Eva Glamaris)
P.P.S. A mention is not necessarily an endorsement of someone. It’s an acknowledgment, a citation, of the origin of information in my process of understanding. (h/t Kelly Diels)
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Copyright © 2026, Cheyenne, WY, and Veracruz, Mexico, All rights reserved. Sharing your lineage of knowledge is decolonial. When iterating, please cite me. Not citing is epistemicide.
