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Note: This piece discusses suicide and suicidal ideation. If you need support please call 988 in the United States or search for a hotline where you live.
Beautiful Wildlings,
Sometimes, the stories we carry feel too big or scary to tell — woven with threads of mystery, pain, and transformation. For years, I’ve held onto a story that shaped me in ways I’m only beginning to understand. Today, I feel called to share it with you.
The Eclipse, Neutrino Streams, and a Cosmic Weaving
Several years ago, in the luminous quiet of a Nicaraguan solar eclipse, I sat on my patio, meditating as the Sun, Moon, and Earth danced in perfect alignment. In that liminal space, I felt the universe breathing through me — tiny particles of light, like threads, moving through the Sun, Moon, and Earth in an eternal rhythm.
I later learned these were neutrinos, particles carrying the whispers of the cosmos. In that eclipse portal, I sensed something ancient and infinite: the heartbeat of Time itself, pulsing through cycles far larger than our human grasp.
This meditation was not just a personal revelation but a thread woven into the larger tapestry of my life — neutrinos and their role in shaping human energetics. It connected me to the energies of a past event I had unknowingly lived through — the neutrino bath of 1987 — and to a modality, Human Design I had yet to learn.
The 1987 Neutrino Bath: A Turning Point
In February 1987, a supernova released an extraordinary flood of neutrinos that passed through the Earth and all its inhabitants. I’ve been curious about neutrinos since studying astrophysics and quantum mechanics. I remember learning about that event being pivotal in neutrino discovery. At the time, I was a teenager on the edge of despair, struggling to find my place.
Some believe it was an event that marked the beginning of a profound, energetic shift on the planet.
My anchor was the community I found following the Grateful Dead with my hippie parents. It was a place I felt truly seen and accepted. But after dropping out of high school to support my mom and brother after her divorce, I was cut off from that lifeline when my mom decided to become a parent again and forbade me from going to their March concerts at the Henry J. Kaiser Center.
Her random parental decision severed my access to the connection and belonging I so desperately needed. Confused, angry, and overwhelmed by isolation and the immense energetic influx from the supernova, I tried to get off this planet — a choice that brought me face-to-face with the ancestors — and something I now know is a metaphysical impossibility and solves nothing.
The Tunnel of Light and a Guardian’s Voice
At just 15, I had way too much access to pills. I took lethal dose and slipped into the threshold between life and death, I found myself in the tunnel of light often described in near-death experiences.
In that liminal place, I found myself bathed in light, standing at the edge of a celestial portal. At its center stood my abuelita’s father, a guardian I had only known through family stories.
His voice was thunder and love entwined:
“No! You must go back. You have important and necessary things to do.”
— Cirilo Juan Lunar
That moment sent me back into my body, carrying a message woven from light and connection — one I would spend years unraveling. It wasn’t until much later, as I gazed into the eclipse and sensed the neutrino flow, that I began to understand.
Held in Our Cosmic Net
These experiences taught me that we are not isolated threads, frayed at the edges, but part of a living tapestry woven of the Cosmos, the cycles of Time, the wisdom of our ancestors. Time itself is a thread, a companion moving through us, carrying stories of transformation and purpose.
And though the energies that pass through us may feel overwhelming at times, they are invitations — opportunities to grow, transform, and align with our purpose.
What I learned then — and continue to relearn — is this: even in our darkest moments, we are held. The ancestors walk with us. The cosmos whispers to us. And the Flow of Time is always inviting us back into connection.
Why This Matters Now
Today, the world feels as though it, too, is standing in a tunnel of light. Transformation looms on the horizon, and many of us feel the weight of uncertainty. Yet within this weight lies an invitation: to reconnect with the cycles of the Earth, the Cosmos, and the stories of those who came before us.
The answer lies in connection — connection to the cosmos, the Earth, and the ancestors who walk with us. They remind us that even in our most profound moments of despair, we are never alone. The well ancestors are ever present to guide us.
Human Design has been a magical piece of the energetic Flow puzzle for me and my work with Time. I’ve pondered many stories of people receiving new knowledge from that neutrino bath of 1987 or more recently. And I’m grateful to have experienced the Flow of communication during eclipse portals over the past several years.
While Human Design isn’t central to my work in decolonizing and befriending Time, it continues to be essential to helping my soul clients reclaim their symbiosis with Time as a friend and magnetize their soul clients in their beautiful, rebellious work.
Step into the Flow
As you read this, I wonder if you, too, have felt the pull of something greater. Perhaps you’ve experienced profound clarity or overwhelming chaos that has left you questioning your place in the universe.
If you feel the pull of something greater — moments of clarity, chaos, or wonder — I invite you to sit with those threads. They are not random; they are part of your life’s tapestry.
What messages are they carrying? What stories are asking to be told? How do we navigate the intensity without losing ourselves?
The light, the neutrinos, the ancestors — they’re all working with you, even in the moments that feel too heavy to bear.
I’ll share more about navigating these energies in the Flow by Design workshop. Together, we’ll explore how to reclaim your rhythm, reconnect with Time, and weave your life into a tapestry as unique as your stellar imprint.
The light, the neutrinos, the ancestors — they’re all working with you. Even in the heaviness, you are held. Your story matters. Your presence here is vital.
Join me for Flow by Design. Sign Up Now » » »
Stay wild, love fiercely. Your presence is golden.
Ciao! xo IxchelDecolonizing Time through Indigenous Ecological Timeways
P.S. January Flow by Design Workshop Registration is Open!
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Walk in beauty. Live your magic. Go wild.
Your Sanctuary to Cultivate Wild Presence for Thriving with a Planet in Transition
I was raised and bore children on the traditional, unceded, and stolen lands of the Coast and Central Valley Miwok (colonized as Petaluma, CA) and Nisenan (colonized as Sacramento and Fair Oaks, CA), past, present, and future. I also write, work, and live in the highland forest of the traditional, unceded and stolen lands of the Totonac, Nahua, and Mexicah, past, present, and future, in what is known as Coatepec, Veracruz, Mexico.
P.P.S. I do not live or consent to the colonial impositions regarding the construct of Time. I also practice honoring rhythms of work, play, and rest so that I can serve you with embodied presence and with loving care. This means I may take several days to respond to your requests and questions. (h/t Eva Glamaris)
P.P.S. A mention is not necessarily an endorsement of someone. It’s an acknowledgment, a citation, of the origin of information in my process of understanding. (h/t Kelly Diels)
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Copyright © 2026, Cheyenne, WY, and Veracruz, Mexico, All rights reserved. Sharing your lineage of knowledge is decolonial. When iterating, please cite me. Not citing is epistemicide.
