Dragon đ Letter #117: Thereâs a kind of regret that doesnât come from bad choices, but from choosing while disconnected from your body. This is about repairing that.
Hola! Iâm Ixchel Lunar (they/them), an Indigenous-Time ecologist, ancestral medicine guide, and rhythm witch for creative rebels, decolonial dreamers, and neuroqueer visionaries. This Substack is dedicated to weaving business, body, and belonging into something no empire can replicate. Still punk as fuck. Still cozy in the chaos.
Beautiful Wildling,
Lately, Iâve been living inside Dane Rudhyarâs 1967 work on the Lunation Cycle.
Not studying it as a concept, but watching it move through real lives. Mine. My clientsâ. Those long arcs that donât make sense until you stop trying to optimize them.
What becomes clear is this: every life moves with two forces, the Sun and the Moon.
One pulls you toward what is necessary and true.
The other determines how much you can live, carry, and survive at any given time.
Some people know their direction early and must learn how to endure it without burning out. Others must live for a long time before direction becomes clear, and are harmed when forced to decide too soon.
Neither is wrong. Both are forms of devotion.
The danger is not slowness or intensity. Itâs asking the wrong part of you to lead.
The Sun and the Moon are the only visible celestial bodies that appear to change size from Earth. They regulate Time. They mark incarnation. They govern growth and decay.
When you take their relationship and anchor it to the moment a life enters the world, you are making a very precise statement:
This life is a specific perspective of the beauty of consciousness entering matter.
Some directions are not chosen. They are endured until they become clear. Some bodies must carry clarity long before the world is ready for it. Others must live, experiment, survive, and fail long enough for clarity to take shape.
Your natal chart shows which force leads in your life, and how to move so direction doesnât cost you your body, or your body doesnât lose its meaning.
Direction does not enter every life the same way. For some, clarity arrives through intention. For others, through lived experience. The work is not to rush either, but to know which one you are living.
Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.
â Rainer Maria Rilke
For a long time, I didnât.
Thereâs a specific kind of regret that doesnât come from making a âbadâ choice. It comes from making a choice while disconnected from your body.
For years, I made decisions from everywhere except my somatic experience. I decided based on what other people wanted. What they expected. What they needed from me. What felt safest or most demanded in the moment.
I wasnât listening to myself. I wasnât trusting how my body registers truth. I wasnât grounded enough to feel my own yes or no.
So, I chose things that looked reasonable. Strategic. Responsible.
And then I repeatedly lived with the cost.
The regret didnât arrive as drama. It arrived as depletion and resentment. A quiet grief or chronic pain syndrome that surfaced later, when my body made it clear that this was never aligned.
At the time, I thought the problem was confidence. Or clarity. Or discipline.
It wasnât.
The problem was that I was dissociated from the part of me that knows how to choose without eroding itself.
Across cultures and philosophies, that orienting intelligence has a name: the daimon.
The daimon isnât motivation. It isnât hype. It doesnât push, shout, or rush. It recognizes. It sings, like a squirrel cuckooâŚ
When youâre aligned with it, you donât usually get fireworks. You get glimmers of what holds. Small, unmistakable signals that say this direction carries, this effort coheres, or this costs energy but doesnât erode me.
It feels like a quiet click of orientation. Relief paired with gravity. A sense of this again, familiar and steady.
This is where many people get confused, because weâre trained to trust dopamine. Urgency. Excitement without steadiness. The pressure of âI should act now.â Stimulation that fades.
Daimonic confirmation is different. It steadies the body. It reduces internal argument. It makes the effort feel ethical.
But itâs easy to miss if youâre depleted. Easy to override if urgency is running the show. Easy to mistrust if youâve learned to abandon yourself in the name of survival or success.
Thatâs why regret repeats.
The Stellar Fortuna + Daimon Map is the result of this study and this lived reckoning. Itâs designed to show which force is meant to lead in your life right now, and how to let it do so without cost.
Not to promise ease, offer certainty, or tell you what to do.
But to restore coherence and live the questionsâŚ
For this first release, Iâm opening five maps at $97. Once those are complete, the price will move to $147.
Stay wild, love fiercely. Your presence is golden.
With wild and rebellious love,
Maltiox! xo Ixchel
P.S. High-capacity people donât burn out from lack of effort. They burn out from saying yes to the wrong things. Get direction without self-erasure so you can do epic shit. Get Your Map â
P.P.S. Maltiox pronounced mall-tee-osh means with gratitude in Kâiche Mayan.
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⨠Do Epic Shit. Stay Intact.
Walk in beauty. Live your magic. Go wild.
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I was raised and bore children on the traditional, unceded, and stolen lands of the Coast and Central Valley Miwok (colonized as Petaluma, CA) and Nisenan (colonized as Sacramento and Fair Oaks, CA), past, present, and future. I also write, work, and live in the highland forest of the traditional, unceded and stolen lands of the Totonac, Nahua, and Mexicah, past, present, and future, in what is known as Coatepec, Veracruz, Mexico.
P.P.S. I do not live or consent to the colonial impositions regarding the construct of Time. I also practice honoring rhythms of work, play, and rest so that I can serve you with embodied presence and with loving care. This means I may take several days to respond to your requests and questions. (h/t Eva Glamaris)
P.P.S. A mention is not necessarily an endorsement of someone. Itâs an acknowledgment, a citation, of the origin of information in my process of understanding. (h/t Kelly Diels)
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Copyright Š 2026, Cheyenne, WY, and Veracruz, Mexico, All rights reserved. Sharing your lineage of knowledge is decolonial. When iterating, please cite me. Not citing is epistemicide.
